My throat tightened.
Daniel had said those things about me?
Of course he had.
My husband was proud of me. I had never doubted that.
"I was in town for a board meeting," Ethan continued.
"I thought I'd stop by, offer my congratulations, and leave before I interrupted anything.""
"And I made you regret it.""
"That's one way to put it.""
I winced.
He didn't smile.
"Vanessa, when we were together, I was broke. That wasn't an insult. It was a fact.
I had no reliable income, my business was falling apart, and I asked too much of you. I understand why you left.""
I stared at him.
"I didn't leave because you were poor.""
"Didn't you?""
"I left because you couldn't give me a future.""
"Those aren't necessarily, my business was falling apart, and I asked too much of you. I understand why you left.""
I stared at him.
"I didn't leave because you were poor.""
"Didn't you?""
"I left because you couldn't give me a future.""
"Those aren't necessarily different things.""
His reply was quiet, but I felt it like a hand pressing against my chest.
For years, I had polished our breakup into a story in which I was the sensible woman who chose herself.
In that story, Ethan was the man who wouldn't grow up.
There was no room in it for the possibility that we had simply wanted different lives.
Or that I had been afraid.
Or that I had hurt someone who had loved me.
different things.""
His reply was quiet, but I felt it like a hand pressing against my chest.
For years, I had polished our breakup into a story in which I was the sensible woman who chose herself.
In that story, Ethan was the man who wouldn't grow up.
There was no room in it for the possibility that we had simply wanted different lives.
Or that I had been afraid.
Or that I had hurt someone who had loved me.
"I don't want to reopen the past," I said.
"Neither do I.""
"Then why bring it up?""
"Because you used it to humiliate me in front of your guests.""
I looked away.
Beyond the glass, a couple walked through the garden with their arms linked. The bride's veil trailed behind her like a ribbon.
"I was cruel," I admitted.
Ethan was silent for a moment.
"Yes.""
"I don't want to reopen the past," I said.
"Neither do I.""
"Then why bring it up?""
"Because you used it to humiliate me in front of your guests.""
I looked away.
Beyond the glass, a couple walked through the garden with their arms linked. The bride's veil trailed behind her like a ribbon.
"I was cruel," I admitted.
Ethan was silent for a moment.
"Yes.""
I swallowed.
"You could at least make this easier.""
"Would you prefer a lie?""
"No.""
"Then we're making progress.""
I almost laughed, but the sound died in my throat.
"Ethan, about the position—"
"Let's discuss that.""
My hands tightened around my bouquet.
"I've worked hard for this opportunity. I went through the interviews. I completed the presentations. Nobody handed me anything.""
"I haven't suggested otherwise.""
I swallowed.
"You could at least make this easier.""
"Would you prefer a lie?""
"No.""
"Then we're making progress.""
I almost laughed, but the sound died in my throat.
"Ethan, about the position—"
"Let's discuss that.""
My hands tightened around my bouquet.
"I've worked hard for this opportunity. I went through the interviews. I completed the presentations. Nobody handed me anything.""
"I haven't suggested otherwise.""
"But I don't want you thinking I applied because of you. I had no idea you worked there.""
"I know.""
"How?""
"Daniel told me you were applying for the role. He mentioned your work during one of our meetings, but I haven't personally reviewed your application or the final recommendation. The recruitment team has handled the process.""
That surprised me.
"But I don't want you thinking I applied because of you. I had no idea you worked there.""
"I know.""
"How?""
"Daniel told me you were applying for the role. He mentioned your work during one of our meetings, but I haven't personally reviewed your application or the final recommendation. The recruitment team has handled the process.""
That surprised me.
"You haven't even seen my portfolio?""
"No.""
"But your signature is required.""
"My"You haven't even seen my portfolio?""
"No.""
"But your signature is required.""
"My approval is required for senior appointments. It's a governance process, not a personal favor.""
I exhaled, though the tension in my shoulders remained.
"Then you can just sign it.""
"It's not that simple anymore.""
My stomach dropped.
"Why not?""
"Because I now know we have a personal history. If I approve your appointment without declaring approval is required for senior appointments. It's a governance process, not a personal favor.""
I exhaled, though the tension in my shoulders remained.
"Then you can just sign it.""
"It's not that simple anymore.""
My stomach dropped.
"Why not?""
"Because I now know we have a personal history. If I approve your appointment without declaring that relationship, it could raise legitimate questions about the fairness of the process.""
I stared at him.
"So you're going that relationship, it could raise legitimate questions about the fairness of the process.""
I stared at him.
"So you're going to ruin my career because we dated five years ago?""
"No."" He straightened.
"I'm going to disclose the conflict and step away from the decision. The hiring committee will review the candidates. If you're the best person for the position, my approval won't be necessary to establish that.""
"But you still have the power to stop it.""
"Yes.""
At least he didn't pretend otherwise.
I took a breath.
"Would you have hired me if you hadn't known me?""
"I haven't seen your portfolio, Vanessa. I can't honestly answer that.""
"Convenient.""
His expression hardened slightly.
"You're standing here accusing me of professional dishonesty because you don't like the uncertainty. That's not fair, and you know it.""
I stared at him.
He was right again.
And I was beginning to resent him for making it so difficult to hate him.
"I need that job," I said at last.
"Why?""
The question was so unexpected that I blinked.
"Because it's a good opportunity.""
"That isn't what I asked.""
I drew myself up.
"Because I want to lead a team. Because I've spent years doing the work while other people take credit for to ruin my career because we dated five years ago?""
"No."" He straightened.
"I'm going to disclose the conflict and step away from the decision. The hiring committee will review the candidates. If you're the best person for the position, my approval won't be necessary to establish that.""
"But you still have the power to stop it.""
"Yes.""
At least he didn't pretend otherwise.
I took a breath.
"Would you have hired me if you hadn't known me?""
"I haven't seen your portfolio, Vanessa. I can't honestly answer that.""
"Convenient.""
His expression hardened slightly.
"You're standing here accusing me of professional dishonesty because you don't like the uncertainty. That's not fair, and you know it.""
I stared at him.
He was right again.
And I was beginning to resent him for making it so difficult to hate him.
"I need that job," I said at last.
"Why?""
The question was so unexpected that I blinked.
"Because it's a good opportunity.""
"That isn't what I asked.""
I drew myself up.
"Because I want to lead a team. Because I've spent years doing the work while other people take credit for the results. Because I'm tired of watching people with less experience get promoted over me. Because I want to know what I'm capable of when somebody finally gives me the resources to do something extraordinary.""
For the first time, Ethan looked at me differently.
Not as his former girlfriend.
Not as the bride who had insulted him.
As a professional.
"Those are reasonable answers," he said the results. Because I'm tired of watching people with less experience get promoted over me. Because I want to know what I'm capable of when somebody finally gives me the resources to do something extraordinary.""
For the first time, Ethan looked at me differently.
Not as his former girlfriend.
Not as the bride who had insulted him.
As a professional.
"Those are reasonable answers," he said.
"They're the truth.""
"Then trust the truth to stand on its own.""
He reached into his jacket and took out a business card.
"Contact the recruitment director on Monday. Tell.
"They're the truth.""
"Then trust the truth to stand on its own.""
He reached into his jacket and took out a business card.
"Contact the recruitment director on Monday. Tell her I have declared a conflict. She'll explain the revised process.""
I accepted the card.
Our fingers didn't touch.