They Stole My Driveway – So I Gave Them a Parking Lesson They’d Never Forget

Chapter 2

Theme:
Font Size:
24px

Kayla Prescott, thirty-eight, sold real estate — sold it well, judging by the matching silver SUVs, hers with a brokerage decal in the rear window she parked at an angle that kept the decal face-out to the street.

She had the brisk, bright manner of a woman who could walk into a house with a water stain on the ceiling and call it character with total sincerity.

They paid five hundred and fifteen thousand dollars for Walter Grady's house, which was a hundred and ninety thousand more than Walter's kids had any right to hope for, and the number went up and down Hickory Lane like weather.

Kate's theory, delivered while folding laundry, was that this explained everything that followed.

"When you overpay that much for a house," she said, "you have to believe you're not really buying the house. You're buying the street."

"The house is just where you keep your stuff while the street improves."

Mike met Brandon properly on a Saturday evening in late April, at the mailbox, because on a street like Hickory Lane that's where diplomacy happens.

He'd come home from a sealcoat job in Cascade Township with asphalt dust in his eyebrows, and Brandon was standing at the curb in a clean polo and loafers worn without socks, looking at the two houses the way a man looks at a before-and-after photo where he's already decided which one he is.

"Brandon Prescott."

The handshake was firm and brief and vertical, a business handshake, the kind with a count to it.

"We are really excited to be here. This street has so much potential."

"We're going to elevate the whole feel of it."

Elevate. Mike noted the word the way he noted weather coming.

"Mike Sorensen. Welcome to Hickory Lane."

"Sorensen."

Brandon's eyes went past him, up the driveway, doing inventory. Truck.

Trailer. Paver, tarped.

The pad behind the house. He took it all in with the mild, assessing calm of a man reading a balance sheet he hadn't decided whether to acquire.

"You run a business out of here?"

"Paving and sealcoating. Keeps me busy."

"That's a lot of equipment for a residential street."

He said it pleasantly, smiling, and the smile stopped a full inch short of his eyes.

"I mean — it's impressive. Building something from nothing."

"I respect that."

Another inch of smile, no warmer.

"I'm sure we'll all work together to keep things looking clean around here."

Clean. Mike stood at his own mailbox with his mail in his hand and a day's work in his eyebrows and heard both words land, elevate and clean, and understood that he had just been handed a brochure about himself, and that in the brochure he was the before picture.

He was polite. He was raised by Frank Sorensen, who held that a man's manners were the one piece of property nobody could survey away from him.

"You need anything while the work's going on," Mike said, "you let me know. I've got a good plumber."

"I've got a good electrician."

"Appreciate it," Brandon said, and turned back to his renovation with the air of a man returning to the important side of the fence.

The comments started in May, once the new siding was up — a deep, fashionable gray-blue — and the black-framed windows were in. They were never addressed to Mike. That was the craft of them.

They floated over the fence at conversational volume on evenings when the Sorensens were on their own patio, pitched precisely at the level of deniability, Brandon's voice carrying the way voices carry when a man wants to be overheard and also wants to be able to say he wasn't.

"Equipment stored outside overnight. Huh."

"I thought there were guidelines about that."

"There aren't," Kayla said, not quite as loud.

"Are there? I mean, there should be."

"In the subdivisions over by the lake, everything's in a garage or it's a fine."

"Big truck for a street this size. You'd think the road commissioner would have an opinion."

Mike sat on his patio with a beer going warm in his hand and Maddie doing homework at the picnic table and said nothing, because there was nothing to answer. There was no HOA on Hickory Lane.

There had never been an HOA on Hickory Lane; that was half the reason he'd bought on it, him and every other self-employed man on the street, Gus and his flag included. There were no guidelines.

There was a township zoning ordinance, which Mike had read, twice, the way his father read surveys, and commercial vehicles registered to a home address were permitted on lots over a half acre, and his lot was a half acre and a smidge, and his smidge, he'd once told Kate, was doing a lot of legal work.

"He keeps talking about guidelines," Kate said one night, scraping plates.

"There are no guidelines."

"He knows there are no guidelines," Mike said.

"That's not what the talking's for."

"What's it for?"

"Seasoning," Mike said.

"He's getting the street used to the idea that I'm a problem, so that when he does something about it, it feels like it was already decided."

Kate laughed, but it was the laugh she used when she wasn't sure he was joking, and he wasn't. The dinner party was the second Saturday of June, the grand reveal.

The Prescotts' renovation had finished with the ceremony of a ribbon that nobody cut — new stone facade across the front, black windows like sunglasses, two symmetrical shrubs flanking the door in perfect cones of green, a lawn installed in sod rolls so uniform it looked vacuumed.

Cars started arriving at six.

Mike counted without meaning to: four in their driveway, nose to tail, two more along their curb, and then, at a quarter past seven, when he came out the back to put the day's tools away, a low silver sedan angled across the mouth of his driveway — not blocking it entirely, just taking the corner of the apron and a good two feet of the drive itself, parked with the confident carelessness of a man who had been assured, by somebody, that it didn't matter.

Mike stood looking at it for a moment. He'd worked ten hours that day on a church lot in Lowell in ninety-degree heat.

His shirt stuck to him. What he wanted was a shower and Kate's meatloaf, and what he had instead was a stranger's sedan in his driveway and the knowledge that if he made a thing of it, he would be the thing.

He knocked anyway. He kept his voice at neighbor level, which took effort he was proud of and nobody would ever know about.

Kayla answered the door with a wine glass in her hand — she'd changed from work clothes into something with drape to it — and party noise came out around her, music and laughter and the clink of people enjoying a house that smelled like new paint.

"Mike!" she said, with the brightness of a woman greeting a delivery she hadn't expected.

"Is everything okay?"

"One of your guests is parked across my driveway," he said.

"Silver sedan. I need it moved."

She turned her head a fraction, not even fully around, and called over her shoulder, sweet as anything: "Brandon — honey — it's about the parking."

It occurred to Mike, standing there, that she had called him by the wrong name on purpose or not at all, and either way it told him his standing in the evening's program.

News in the same category

They Stole My Driveway – So I Gave Them a Parking Lesson They’d Never Forget

25 Part