I thought about Denise inside the house. I thought about Kayla, who was staying with family that morning and was safe, and I held on to that thought the way you hold on to a railing. I thought about the cameras on the house, and the cameras I could not see, and the fact that whatever happened next would be recorded by people who knew how to preserve a recording. That thought did not make the Taser hurt less. It made the fear smaller. There is a difference.
Then a voice thundered from Bayou Drive.
"FEDERAL AGENTS!"
Everything changed.
It changed the way a room changes when someone opens a door and the air moves. The grip on my wrist loosened. The man moving toward my other arm stopped moving. The shouting above me broke off in the middle of a word.
Real federal agents entered the property.
I knew they were real before I could see their faces, because I knew what real sounded like. There was no swagger in it. There was no performance. There were clear credentials held where they could be seen, and marked tactical vests, and voices trained to carry across a yard without turning into screaming.
"Drop the baton."
The baton clattered onto the driveway. I heard it hit the concrete and roll a short distance, and the sound was absurdly ordinary, like a tool dropped in a garage.
"Step away from him."
Footsteps moved back. I felt the space around me open up, and I took a breath that actually reached my lungs for the first time since the Taser fired.
"Hands where we can see them."
"Do not reach."
Curtis froze. I could see him now, or part of him, from where I lay on the grass. He stood with his hands half raised, his clipboard forgotten on the ground, his face doing something complicated. It was not fear, exactly. It was the look of a man whose script had just been taken away from him in the middle of a scene. He had been the one giving orders a minute earlier. He had been the one with the clipboard and the compliance order and the article number that did not exist. Now he was standing in a driveway with real agents telling him where to put his hands, and he did not have another line.
The other guards complied. One of them put his hands up so fast it looked like a reflex. Another backed away from me with his palms open, as if he wanted everyone to see that he was not holding anything anymore. There was no moment when one of them decided to be brave.
There was no gunfight. There was no heroic shootout. There was no sixty-three-year-old retired agent suddenly becoming twenty-five again and fighting four men in his driveway. I stayed on the ground, because the ground was where I belonged at that moment, and because getting up too fast would have been stupid and painful, and because the agents who had just arrived were trained to handle a scene and I was trained to let them.
They handled it the way I remembered handling scenes. One agent stayed with me, talking low and steady, telling me what was happening before he did it. Another took Curtis aside. Others moved to the cart, to the gate, to the edges of the property, securing the scene the way you secure any scene, by making sure nothing else gets added to it. Someone called for paramedics, though I did not hear the call itself. I heard the radio crackle, and then I heard the calm back and forth of people who do this every day.
The paramedics came up the driveway with a kit, and they were gentle in the way that people are gentle when they know you are hurt but not dying. They removed the Taser probes, and I will not pretend that part was pleasant. It was a sharp pulling sensation, and then a burn, and then a strange relief, as if something that had been holding me had finally let go. They examined my shoulder carefully, moving it a fraction at a time, asking me where it hurt and how much, and they wrote things down without making a show of it.